Savvy Toddler Mom

So, I procrastinated, but I am going to finish by New Year’s!  Here are the other 8 “Things of STM” that I am going to do in 2010:

5 & 6: Water & Caffeine.  One I need more of; the other I need less of.  64 oz water and a max of 2 Diet Cokes a day in 2010.  Should help me be healthier and sleep better.  It’s a win-win.

7: Boundaries.  Finding a balance between work, family, extended family, friends, church, etc.  I have unfortunately let work take over more of my life than I would like… I need to find a way to come home at a reasonable time and spend more time with my husband and son.

8 & 9: Be Realistic & Say No.  Do you ever take on too much?  Well, I have a bad habit of doing exactly that.  I can’t do everything, be everything… no one can!  I want to make a point of taking a step back, thinking about what is most important, and saying no now and again.  Good, better, best.  Release the guilt!

10: Mom Saturdays.  Saturday is my day to be 100% mom.  I sometimes don’t take advantage of it as much as I wish I did.  I am going to!  I am claiming them as Mom Saturdays.

11: Ask for More Help.  I have a hard time asking for help.  From my husband, my mom, my coworkers.  I like to do things myself and I like to be self-reliant.  However, as we have already established, I am not super woman!  I have GOT to learn to ask for help more and to accept it more graciously.

12: Personal Discovery. Last, but not certainly not least, I resolve (for my husband and for ME) that I will continue to discover who I am, what I want, and what it all means to me.  Nearly 11 years of marriage and you think I would know by now!  However, life isn’t easy.  Ever.  Bends in the road require constant adjustment and… change.

So, these are the 12 Things of STM… my 12 resolutions for 2010.  The things I want to change next year to spend more time living.

Seriously.  They are my Achilles’ heel.  I actually bought a whole bag for my husband to put in my stocking.  What was I thinking?!?!

I am going to eat them ALL before next year and then that’s it.  No peanut butter M&Ms in 2010.  Say it with me now…

(Playing a little catch-up here, but I’m going to get my 12 things in by New Year’s!)

Me time… I love it, I want it… I hardly ever get it.  Oh, and when I do, I usually spend it cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying bills, etc.

What I’m talking about here is some serious “me time.”  What I want to do, not what I have to do.  Examples: reading, scrapbooking, photography, sewing, daydreaming, etc.  Things that fill the soul and give you time to think about who you are and what you want in life.  I don’t remember the last time I spent any significant amount of time doing any of those things.  Our time is so scarce — spread out over responsibilities with family, work, home, church — I think we lose sight of our “self.”

So, “me time.”  Starting with 15 minutes/day.  Every day.  Take 15 minutes and do what YOU want to do.  If you have longer than that, great.   If you don’t, start with 15 minutes and see if you can grow it.  15 minutes this week, 20 minutes next week, 25 the week after that.

Feed your soul.

Okay, I know this is an obvious one, but after sleep (or lack of it), it is the lack of exercise that makes me feel the least healthy.

So, for 2010, getting 30 minutes of exercise a day is going to be a priority.  Even if I have to run up and down my office staircase during my lunch hour.

And don’t forget weight training!  Cardio burns calories, but building muscles is a faster way to burn fat.  So, weight training at least 2 times a week… to start. (You reading this, CTM?)

I really am going to get 12 things in by the end of the year!

The first thing is SLEEP.  We all need it.  Most of us don’t get enough.  I certainly don’t… and I think the last week has been the worst sleep deprivation I’ve had since the toot was a newborn.  I burned my candle at both ends until I couldn’t function any more.  It wasn’t pretty.

So, the 1st thing of SavvyToddlerMom is getting enough sleep.  Eight hours, baby.

Not too much, mind you… just enough.  Enough to keep me (and you) at the top of our game.  Too much will make us groggy and lazy.

Eight hours.  So, my new bedtime will be 11pm — alarm goes off at 7am.  It’s a plan.

Since I started working full-time in April 2009, I have had little time to blog!  However, I am regularly thinking of things I’d like to share… just at times when I don’t have a computer handy, like in the shower, driving to/from work, as I’m falling asleep.  The funny thing about that is that I spend 90% of my waking time in front of a computer!  Or, at least it feels like it.

I continue to juggle work and my family — husband in grad school and my son, who is now 5!… oh, wait, is there anything else?  YES.  I have spent a lot of time this year just trying to tread water.  I need to get back to living.

My birthday is next week and this year it’s almost a painful reminder of how much my life isn’t what I want it to be.  Don’t get me wrong… a lot of it is GREAT.  Fabulous.  Blessed and lucky and miraculous.  But there are a few big things that loom large when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to sleep.  All of us have something like that… sometimes it is so hard to reconcile what we have with what we want.

Some of the things I want I can’t do anything about.  Blech.  That’s what Zoloft is for, right?

Some of the things I CAN do something about.  So, forget the 12 days of Christmas.  I am going to come up with my 12 Things of SavvyToddlerMom.  (Okay, it was more clever when I put my own name in, but for the sake of internet anonymity…)

Between now and the end of the year, I am going to identify and make a plan for 12 things I can improve or change.  “Yes, we can.”

These 12 things will become my New Year’s Resolutions — New Year’s Goals — for 2010.

Feel free to do it with me!

My darling friend, fellow blogger, and faithful reader, Heather, gave birth to a darling baby girl last night.  Congrats to Heather and her family!  We are already in love with Surfer Girl and are so glad she finally made her appearance!  We are thinking of you and sending all our love your way.

My youngest SIL also found out yesterday that she is expecting daughter #2.  That is another niece for STM!!  Let’s see… that makes SEVEN!  Seven nieces and four nephews.  Whew!

Today SavvyDad and I celebrated our 10th anniversary.  Wow, 10 years.  It feels like it’s been ten years…. but really the last five feel like they’ve lasted ten and the first five flew by in a blur.

SavvyDad and I have been through a lot the last ten (and especially the last five) years.  I cannot imagine anyone else that I could have survived those experiences with.  Today I celebrate him: his dedication, his love, his loyalty, his hard work, and his endurance.  Thank you, sweetheart, for being my friend, my lover, and my companion.

 Just for fun, here are some glimpses of our early years:

Fun wedding photo.

One of my favorite wedding photos… there we go, off on our adventure together.

At Rainbow Bridge in 2000 — still newlyweds and loving it!

SavvyDad graduated from college in our third year of marriage.  (I know, I hate my hair too.)

In 2004, we welcomed our little boy, the toot, into our family. He is the light of our lives.

Ugh… here I am.  Once again.  Apologizing for being terrible about blogging.  Not that I’m a terrible blogger (I hope), but that I am terrible about blogging regularly.  Can once a quarter be counted as regularly?

Anyway, here I am.  Again.  Sorry, guys. 

I think about you a lot - I do!  I think, that would be a great idea for a blog… that would be a fun thing to share… oh, people should really know about that… I can’t believe my life has brought me to this point, doing this activity; I really should blog about this.  I think about blogging, then I get back to the Chinese firedrill that has become my life and I forget.  I am neglectful.

Sorry.

I wish I could say that I will be better!  I wish I could recommit and resolve to being better about blogging.  However, knowing the way my time has been the last few weeks, and knowing that the future isn’t about to be that much different, I cannot.  And why?  Because… well, here’s what is going on in my life lately, bullet-point style:

• Had a great Christmas, enjoyed time with my family
• Increased work hours in January to 25/week, joined current employer officially as an employee (was a contractor prior to that)
• SavvyDad was laid-off quite unexpectedly mid-January - ugh
• Dithered for a week or two trying to decide what to do about income/future employment/grad school opportunities for SavvyDad/etc.
• Decided to increase hours to 30/week starting in February in order to get full-time status and qualify for benefits
• Realized how much I love my job
• Realized how much I miss the toot when I’m at work (in the office 2 days a week)
• Had CTM hire-on as well at my “new” company - we love working together
• Switched from a PC to a Mac, per new employer (UGH… I’m really liking the Mac, but the learning curve is STEEP)
• Took on more of a leadership role/responsibilities at “new” job - start to obsess and find myself working ALL the time
• Realize how much I really, really love my job
• Realize how much I really, really miss spending more time with the toot and SavvyDad
• Realize that SavvyDad is a better cook than I am

I think that’s the current situation in a nutshell.  I am up late tonight working on my quarterly goals for my marketing department.  Yep, my marketing department.  It’s mine.  For now, at least.  It might soon be someone else’s (someone who is willing to work full-time at the office), but for today it is mine and I am loving strategizing, planning, dreaming, executing, and seeing the results.  The success.  It’s like a drug.

My good friend Helen keeps telling me that I am the unwilling career woman.  That I keep running away from my career destiny.  (She, of course, is the willing career woman, climbing mountains to reach and revel in her career destiny.  Helen, you are an inspiration!)  It’s not that I’m unwilling or that I’m running away, but that I don’t want to JUST have a job.  I am a mom, I am a wife, I am a friend, I am a neighbor, I am a daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, and more… and those responsibilities take time.  I can’t help but try to do it all on my terms.

Do those terms include doing my quarterly planning while watching Grey’s Anatomy?  Maybe.  Or maybe I will finish first so that I can enjoy every second of McDreamy’s screen time.

I am extremely grateful for a boss and co-workers that are willing to be flexible with me, especially through this period of upheaval and adjustment!  Thank you, thank you!!!  I am also extremely grateful for my sweet husband that is willing to be even more flexible, swapping chores and roles and being cheerful about it.

Oh, there is so much more I could say!  Maybe another day, another post.

Back to the Mac and my PowerPoint.  Hope you, my steadfast readers (if you are still reading at this point, you are steadfast), are doing well; are happy and healthy and enjoying the new year.

What a week!  A busy, fun, snow-filled week!

First of all, thank you for all the birthday wishes!  I am overwhelmed.  I have to share a couple of my favorite gifts:

• SavvyDad framed the James C. Christensen Shakespeare print we bought a couple of years ago at the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City, UT.  The frame is beautiful and he immediately hung it in our room on my side of the bed!  Thanks again, hon!
• Thank you, Tiffany & Phil, for the AWESOME sweatshirt.  It reads, “I [heart] Mr. Darcy.”  I laughed and laughed.  Thank you!!!!  After opening, I said, “Oh, I can’t WAIT to blog about that!”  Then I opened my next gift…
• Thanks again, Anne & Matt, for the fabulous t-shirt!  It reads, “i am so blogging this.”  I love it!  And very true-to-life. LOL
• And last, but not least, thanks, Heather, for the Fairytale Brownies.  I am sad to say they didn’t last long.  The toot especially loved them and helped himself (toddler scissors in hand) at every opportunity.  Thank you again!!

Breakfast with Santa was a huge success.  Man, my MIL is amazing.  Really.  And her three daughters are following in her footsteps.  My SIL made this amazing cinnamon pull-apart tree.  She made it up completely on her own.  (Photo by SavvyDad.)

Santa was absolutely perfect.  I wish I could post some pics of the kids, but my internet paranoia is too strong.  But here is a shot of Santa himself (photo by SavvyDad):

We also had a really fun extended-family Christmas get-together for my side of the family last night.  It was so great to see my cousins and have our children play together.  We don’t do it often enough!  On that side of the family, there are 10 great-grandchildren and the toot is one of the two boys!  My nephew wasn’t there, so he and the five girls that were there played and played.  Matt & Anne, we really missed Liesel & Sage!  They would have had a great time in all the chaos.

My wonderful cousin Amber just announced that she is expecting her fourth girl.  She and her husband do daughters so well!  I am so excited for you.

My “little” brother and his wife are days away from having a little boy!  I can’t wait for little Coleby to get here.  I am so excited for them to have the newborn baby experience… the overwhelming love, the complete lack of sleep, the overwhelming love that keeps you from strangling this little person that has turned your life upsidedown.  It’s going to be awesome.  They totally deserve to have just the happiest New Year with a sweet little guy to make the rest of their lives that much sweeter.

Today is the second anniversary of the day we lost our little Elizabeth.  It seems a lot longer and a lot shorter at the same time.  A year ago last Thursday we lost our little James.  Needless to say, Christmastime is a little bit melancholy for us now.  I am trying hard to enjoy the season… enjoy not being pregnant trying to shop and cook and run around, enjoy not being in the hospital and getting sympathy cards and flowers instead of Christmas cards and goodies.  But it’s still hard when I think about the little people that should be here enjoying it with us.  The little people that shouldn’t allow us to have ornaments on the lower half of the tree… the little people that should be having their first or second Christmas and… the little people that their big brother should be playing with.  It just breaks my heart.  It seems like the sweetest things hurt the most, too… a double-edged sword.  The toot can be SO funny and darling… and it should be twice as much (at least).

I got some snowflake ornaments this year with all of our little babies’ names and dates on them.  They are beautiful.  If you are looking for something like that to remember loved ones you’ve lost, look at Things Remembered.  That’s where I got mine.

Okay, enough crying.  Gah.

Can I just tell you that I am SO stinkin’ excited for Christmas?!?!?!  I don’t remember being this excited in… probably 15 years.  I can’t WAIT to see the toot’s face when he walks into the living room on Christmas morning.  I can’t WAIT to see the magic happen as Santa brings him what he asked for.  I can’t WAIT to see SavvyDad’s surprise and delight at two things in particular!  I can’t WAIT to see my nephews and nieces enjoy the gifts I got them.  It really is better to give than to receive.