Savvy Toddler Mom

It’s 11:30pm and my ultrasound is tomorrow at 8:30am.  I’ve been trying to keep it together all week — trying to not let the anxiety get to me.  So, instead of focusing on the “are they alive or not?” question, I’d like to wonder about “what gender are they?”  The optimist in me thinks I might be able to find out tomorrow.  I’ll be a day short of 13 weeks — I found out with the toot and Elizabeth at 13 weeks — so it could happen!

So, since we are focusing on the positive, what is YOUR prediction for the gender (or genders) of these twins?  I certainly don’t have a preference — at this point, I will be happy with a healthy baby (or babies), no matter what flavor!

I have my suspicions that they are a boy and a girl.  At first I thought they were for sure both boys, but I’ve changed my mind… that’s my guess: a boy and a girl.

What’s your guess?

STM and I went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull over the weekend. We had an encounter with the inconsiderate.

A young woman, seated directly behind me, brought her ~2 year old child along to the theater. Leaving aside the issue of how a child might react to frightening and violent images, I wanted to point out the results of this woman’s decision. As children tend to do, her little angel fidgeted and chatted throughout the two hour film. He kicked my seat repeatedly, he talked and occasionally yelped and whined throughout the film. This was vexing to me. I know it vexed other people around her. Does she realize that she’s detracted from the experience of a dozen people? If she doesn’t realize it, should someone point it out? Will she continue to irk people the next time she goes out?

Would you have said something to the girl? Well, I did. After the movie ended and the house lights brightened I turned around and held out the screen of my phone which shows an image of the toot.

“This is my little boy.” She smiled hesitantly and peered at the image. “He’s three,” I continued, “and we arranged for a sitter so that we wouldn’t bother the people around us. I wish you could have been as considerate.”

“Oh, you…go away! Go away! Go away!”

There was a little more dialog after that, but not much more communication. She only seemed to hear that she wasn’t allowed to bring her kid. I simply said it was inconsiderate, not illegal. She was really in a defensive huff about it.

“I can bring my child anywhere I want!”

Actually, that’s not true. You can’t bring a child anywhere you want. You can’t bring a child onto a casino floor, a strip club, an operating room or roller coasters where you ‘must be this tall.’ There are some places where you really can’t bring a child. But aside from that, there are also places where you shouldn’t bring a child. In some cases it for the kid’s safety: A paint ball arena. A loud rock concert. A wastewater treatment facility. A slaughterhouse. In other cases, it’s for those around you. A symphony, a fine restaurant, a lecture, or a movie not geared for those too young to keep still. (A kids’ movie is different. There, I am the guest to their movie.)

Politeness and courtesy seem to be waning, though, I supposed people have been saying that for hundreds of years. It just bothered me that this woman didn’t have enough consideration to think of anyone else but herself. We got a babysitter so we could have a break. We paid $8 a ticket so that we could escape the everyday and hang out with our adult friends. We manage to get to the movies about twice a year. Who is this woman to risk ruining a stranger’s experience by bringing a child who’s too young to know better? Maybe she is an only parent. Maybe her sitter cancelled at the last minute. But if that’s the case - see a different movie, or simply stay home. We expect people to turn off their phones. We expect people not to talk through a movie. Bringing a child to a movie for adults was selfish, unthinking and rude.

Well, he made it!  I was telling CTM this morning that I thought he would be born around 3pm… he was born at 2:54!  How crazy is that?!?!

I just got home from a visit at the hospital, and mom and baby are doing great.  CTM actually looks amazing for a woman who just gave birth.  Her new little guy (blog alias still tbd) is adorable.  6 lbs 15 oz and 19 1/2 inches long.  Lots of dark hair.  I held him for quite a while during my visit and he slept the whole time.  Cuddly little guy!

CTM’s labor and delivery went WAY better than with her first, so hurrah!  Congrats to CTM and family!

Just got off the phone with ChasingToddlerMom a bit ago… she is at the hospital, all hooked up to pitocin.  So exciting!  She’s already dilated to 4cm, so I told her I’m guessing her little guy will be here by 3pm.  We shall see.

I have got a million-bazillion things to do for work today so, I am blogging.  Yeah, total procrastination.  Yikes.

We had a pretty good weekend!  Lots of rest — got some yard work done.  The toot had his summer tumbling program for which the grandparents came out (it was pretty funny).  We went to see Indiana Jones yesterday (fun, but not amazing).  My very favorite was having the toot sleep in yesterday (until 9am!) and then having a lazy, lazy morning with SavvyDad and our littly boy.  SO nice.  Oh - Saturday was right up there, too, when SavvyDad got up with the toot and let ME sleep in, then make aebleshievers (oh, I so spelled that wrong), Danish (Swedish?) pancakes that I LOVE.  He is the BEST!  Thanks again, sweetie.

Alright, back to the salt mines for me.  I’ll keep you posted on CTM.

I’m twelve weeks today and still have all my fingers, toes… everything crossed.  I am pretty much over the morning sickness, but still get pretty tired in the afternoon.  However, I’ve been feeling so much better that I’ve been freaking myself out thinking something is “wrong.”  Ack.  I’m sure it’s only the beginning of a few weeks of much anxiety.  Oh, here we go…

Also, if you use Facebook, you’ve got to watch this:

… I know it’s here somewhere, but I can’t see it for all the STUFF I haven’t taken care of yet.  Honestly, will I ever get caught up?  I have bills to pay, medical receipts to submit for FSA money, checks to deposit (yes, can you believe actual money is just SITTING here?), FIVE notebooks containing my work notes (there is a reason why I have five… I just can’t explain it), random copies of contracts and reports, magazines I haven’t read, stuff to be filed… oh my gosh.  It just goes on and on.  Where is my desk?!?!?

I think I will make it a goal to find my desk this weekend.  It’s really making me crazy.  Maybe I’ll even reorganize my office furniture.  That would help.

Tonight is the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy - ah, gotta love mindless television.

I think the toot and I will go run errands this afternoon and just relax — after our naps, of course — it’s been a long week already!

Looking forward to the long weekend!  Hope you have some fun plans, if nothing more than spending some time with your families.

So, I had another ultrasound yesterday — everything was great!  Those little guys were wiggling and moving… so wonderful to see!  They are measuring right on target; even a little ahead.  So, as far as we know, everything is as it should be.

Huge sigh of relief.

I get so wound up going in for an ultrasound.  I’m just terrified to find bad news waiting for me.  Poor SavvyDad doesn’t really know what to do with me.  He knows that he can’t very well talk me down when I get like that.  Oh, well.  One day at a time.

Over the weekend I did my first heparin shot on my own!  SavvyDad has been doing them for me, but I finally got up the nerve to actually poke myself and I am now empowered.  SavvyDad still assists with getting the syringe ready, etc., but I can do it to myself now.  Hurrah!  One hurdle at a time.

I wasn’t feeling great last night and took a phenegran for nausea.  It was about 11:00pm, and I am SO groggy today.  Having such a hard time waking up!  That drug is a miracle, though.  I would much rather be sleepy that nauseated.

CTM went for her check-up yesterday and her doctor scheduled her for induction on Tuesday, if she doesn’t go into labor before then!  Yay!  We’ll have that little guy here in a week, one way or the other.  I am so excited!

Today does bring with it some sadness… today my little Elizabeth would have had her first birthday.  I miss her so much.  I can just imagine what she would have looked like and how we would be celebrating today.  I can’t wait until the day when I can finally meet her, put my arms around her and hold her tight.

I am so glad that today finds me in such hopeful circumstances.  I have a wonderful, sweet little boy and two new babies on the way.  I can look to the future and be positive.

I remember going in for a two-week check-up after Elizabeth died and waiting in the examining room.  There was a mirror just across from where I was sitting.  I looked at myself in the mirror for a while as I waited for the doctor.  I noticed how old I looked… how tired and worn and beaten down with sorrow and a weary body.  I didn’t like what I saw.  In that moment, I decided that I was going to be a survivor.  I was going to pick myself up, pull myself back together, and keep going.  I have often thought of that moment.  I remember exactly what I was wearing and how my hair was that day.  I remember the conviction I felt to not be that person that I saw in my reflection.  I am happy to say that I haven’t been that person.  I am a survivor.

So even as I mourn some more today, I am grateful that I have been given the strength to overcome.  I am grateful for my sweet husband, without whom I would not be able to cope.  I am grateful for my adorable little toot and for all the things I have learned by being his mom.  He is the light of my life.  I am grateful for these two little babies growing inside me and I have all the hope in the world that they will be able to join our family healthy and whole.  One day at a time.

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

Today I celebrate ChasingToddlerMom.  It’s her birthday, and what better day to celebrate all that she is, all that she has done, and her goals and dreams for the future.  She is my best friend, and more like me than I can believe, and yet different still!

Here is a woman, a strong, intelligent, determined woman — not to mention beautiful and with excellent taste in fashion — who overcomes daily the struggle of “doing it all.”  She and I want it all… we want to be wives and mothers and homemakers and have careers and hobbies and friends, fulfilling commitments to our husbands, our children, our families, our church, our society, and — of course — ourselves.  We want it all and we want to do it all well.  It is this goal, this attitude towards life, that I love about CTM.

When we go to the gym together, the time flies by as we discuss our days, our challenges, our failures, and our victories.  It is pure therapy.  We haven’t been able to work out together in a couple of weeks, as I have been battling pregnancy exhaustion (twins=tired-squared) and morning sickness… and OH, HOW I’VE MISSED IT!  Not having several hours of good conversation a week is taking its toll on my ability to cope.

Thank you, CTM, for being a true friend.  Thank you for listening to EVERYTHING and helping me get through it all — good times and bad.  Thank you for sharing the last seven (at least I think it’s been seven…) years with me.  Through this job and that job, this foot surgery and that gall bladder surgery, this pregnancy and that pregnancy, not to mention our two crazy boys (and so much more!!!)… you have made life’s challenges easier and funnier.

As you celebrate your birthday today and embark on another year of this adventure we call life, please know that I just love you and love that we are friends.  The next year will be an interesting one for both of us (aren’t they all?) and I am looking forward to sharing it with you.  I am so excited to meet your new little boy (CTM’s 37 weeks pregnant this week!) and finding out what he is all about.  I can’t wait to find out what his birth story is.  I am looking forward to hearing how Little Ro’ grows and adjusts to this addition to your family.  I am so hoping that this baby will be a much easier newborn for you.

Oh, I could go on forever. 

Happy birthday, CTM, and thank you. 

No road is long with good company.  ~Turkish Proverb

Here’s wishing all of you moms out there a happy Mother’s Day.  I hope all your children and/or husbands made you breakfast and gave you thoughtful gifts.  And, if not, at least maybe they did the dishes or let you take a nap.

It’s been a big weekend for us… we chose this weekend to announce our big news.  We are expecting.  Again. 

AND… (are you sitting down?) Not only am I pregnant, but I am pregnant with TWINS.  Yes, two babies.  Surprised?  Guess how we felt.  Wow.  Since at this point most people ask if we were on Clomid or other fertility drug or if we had in vitro, etc… the answer is no, nothing.  It’s either an absolute freak of nature or heredity.  I’m not really sure which is coming in to play more.  At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter.  I’m having twins.

Well… I HOPE I’m going to have twins, at least.  As many of you know, I have had four miscarriages — two in the second trimester.  I am now 10 weeks along, so we have another month until the really scary part (since it’s all a scary part).  I’m due December 9th, but since twins usually come a month early, we are looking at the beginning of November.

As many of you also know, the best idea the doctors have is that I’m having some sort of weird blood clotting issue that they can’t identify.  So… with all the fun of being pregnant, EXTREMELY tired (try, tired-squared), morning sickness, and not being able to breathe, I also get to have twice-daily shots of heparin that my sweet husband injects. SavvyDad has been amazing about giving me the shots since I am just not up to doing it myself yet.  It’s been almost a month now, and at least I’ve stopped hyperventilating when he gets out the syringes.

Let’s see… what else?  You can imagine why I’ve had trouble blogging lately — so much on my mind that I wasn’t ready to share yet.  It’s been such a rollercoaster.  We are hopeful (of course) that everything will go well, but are strangely detached to the point that I think other people think we are unfeeling or something.  So many people that I’ve shared our news with have screamed, shrieked, and cried (including my mother)… and yet we haven’t.  Not yet.

Anyway, that’s my big Mother’s Day news.  SO great to have it out in the open!  I have no idea what the next year holds for my family and me.  I know it’s going to be hard one way or the other.  I’m just hoping that the hard parts will be all to do with too many bottles to make, diapers to change, and not enough sleep because of it.  I will do it with a smile on my face.

Busy, busy… I know I haven’t posted in a while.  It just gets to be a last priority when everything else is going haywire!

I picked up a new client a few weeks ago and started serious work for them on May 1st.  It has been a blast, but very time consuming.  I’ve hired a part-time nanny (I’m sharing with CTM) to make sure the toot doesn’t spend my work time parked in front of the TV.  Man, can it be hard to find good nannies.

I had my sister nanny for me last summer — it was the best!  She loves the toot, the toot loves her.  Alas, she had to go back to college when the summer was over.  I asked if she wanted to work for me again this year, but she declined.

I love having a part-time nanny… it means that I can work when it’s work time and I know the toot is getting attention and interacting with someone (and maybe even learning things he wouldn’t learn from me!)… and then when work time is over, it’s mom-time and I can relax and not feel guilty that I’m not working! 

So, that’s pretty much my life these days… working, having some serious mom-time when I’m not working, and enjoying the fact that spring has FINALLY sprung!  Although, of the 24 bulbs I worked so hard to plant earlier this spring, only five have started to grow.  Is that normal?  I’m wondering if, in my haste, I planted some down too deep and they can’t find their way out.  Who knows.

I’m looking forward to Mother’s Day this weekend.  I’m having my family over for lunch on Sunday — a bit different for us.  SavvyDad has been asking me what I want as a gift and I honestly have no idea.  The only things that spring to mind are not things you can buy… sleeping in? no whining from the toot? no cooking for a week? (I guess you could buy that…)  Any other ideas?  What do you want for Mother’s Day?