Savvy Toddler Mom

Hi there! My name is canyonfool. I will be posting on this blog to share my experiences as a father going through the legal process of attempting to gain custody of my child, even though his mother and I were never married.

I would like to share things that I wish I had known going into this legal situation, things to ask of a lawyer, how to choose the proper lawyer, when to decide to walk away from a non-performing lawyer, etc. As my situation is ongoing, my situation may change and so may my perspectives.

I would like to share my perspectives with anyone in a situation like mine, or a similar situation of their own, and to offer the best information about Utah Custody Laws.

My son is now 18 months old, and he has just started spending every-other weekend with my wife and me. It has been quite challenging to adapt to having a child around since, before a month ago, I was only having visits at his mother’s house. He is a great little boy who loves to play and have fun all the time.

Enjoy!

I am very excited to introduce you to our newest contributor, canyonfool.  He (yes, he’s a he!) is a father of an adorable 18-month-old and has his own flavor of great info to share with you.  Look for posts from him soon.

He also happens to be my “little” brother… two years younger, and three inches taller!  I will have to find a suitably embarrassing photo to share with you.  I’ll let him tell you more about himself. 

Welcome, canyonfool!

Quick update on the flood: carpet is dry, but tonight we cut a hole in the drywall to check for mold potential.  Things look good, but I still sprayed with a Clorox/water mix to make sure.  As soon as that’s dry, we’ll get the carpet people in here to replace the pad, reinstall the carpet, and do a good cleaning.  My favorite carpet cleaning company?  Action Cleaning & Restoration (801-395-2822).

For now, though, my family room and office is still inundated with STUFF from the craft room.  I can hardly move!  I did find my list, though… so without further ado…

Here are some of my favorite baby/toddler books:

• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy: A must-read for anyone that has ever gone through the experience of having a child.  Meant to be informative and HUMOROUS.  Not to be considered a medical reference.  Very, very funny, though.  Vicki Iovine ROCKS.
• Baby Bargains/Toddler Bargains: Better by FAR than Consumer Reports or any other ratings guide.  These guys know their stuff!  I don’t think I’ve made a big purchase without their advice… and they have tips and info on a wide variety of topics.  Also, if you had a copy of this and are having another baby — be sure to check out the newer versions.  They just came out with edition #7 two weeks ago (4/25/2007).
• Baby 411/Toddler 411: Others by the same authors as above (and a Dr. too).  I told my brother to pick up Toddler 411 — great reference book with bite-sized snippets on everything from nutrition to discipline to illnesses, etc. 
• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood: Ditto from above.
• The Girlfriend’s Guide to Toddlers: Ditto again.
• The Happiest Toddler on the Block: I just started reading this one and I am already a convert.  I know they have a “baby” version of this book, but I’ve never read it.  If you have an unruly toddler, though, this book will help you learn how to speak “toddlerese” and break down the language barrier.

There are many, many more books I want to share, but I don’t wish to overwhelm.  Another day, another post.

On a side note, on my bedside table on top of The Happiest Toddler on the Block is Love Your Handwriting by Heidi Swapp, scrapbooking queen.  If you are into card making/scrapbooking, check out her blog (check out this book too!).  She posts great info and examples of her pages/projects with TONS of personality.

I made a HUGE list of things I want to blog about… all my favorite baby & toddler related items… and then it promptly got buried in the chaos that was my basement flooding over the weekend.  Ack!  Our main water turnoff sprung a leak and soaked the floor of my craft room.  SUCH a mess.  Gallons and gallons of water.  The carpet is dry now, but it still smells like… wet carpet.  Ew.

So, until I find my list of favorites under the piles of refugee scrapbook albums, books, paper, fabric, and photos that has since taken over my office, I must draw upon my memory.  (And if you are a mom, you know how badly pregnancy can permanently damage your memory.  This is a hard thing.)  And what is the first thing my memory comes up with as a must-have for the toddler parent?  Costco.

Yes, Costco.  A Costco membership is my #1 Must Have.  I love Costco.  Really.  I used to drive 20 minutes into Salt Lake to the Costco there until they built one 5 minutes from my house in Bountiful a year and a half ago.  I jumped for joy when I heard about the new one.  I went the first day it opened — braved the insane crowds and everything.  It was so exciting!  Our very own Costco.

“Why?” you ask. “What is it about Costco? Why is it a Must Have?”

“Well,” I reply, “let me tell you…”  It has stuff you need.  It has stuff you need for less than you could buy at regular stores. It has stuff you need for less and in quantities that make it so you don’t run out every time you turn around.  They also have stuff you never even thought of needing or wanting until you see it there and HAVE to have it.  Oh, wait… that’s not exactly a plus.  Well, sometimes it is.

“Need” is a relative term.  I use “need” in the sense of “this-product-that-could-make-your-life-easier-and-your-children-happier/healthier.” 

“What kind of stuff?” you ask.  “Stuff,” I say.

Infant formula, whole milk, chicken nuggets (shaped like dinosaurs!), cheerios, meatballs, goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, fruits and veggies, DIAPERS, diaper wipes, pull-ups, swim diapers, baby shampoo, baby wash, antibacterial wipes, children’s clothing, children’s books and DVDs, children’s furniture, strollers, tricycles, toys, playground equipment, costumes, sippy cups, etc., etc., etc.

Don’t forget stuff for parents of toddlers: CAFFEINATED BEVERAGES and laptops and stuff.  Mostly the caffeinated beverages.  Oh, and the prepared meals that you just throw in the oven (my favorite is the chicken pot pie).  (I did buy my laptop from their web site and got exactly what I wanted for a screamin’ deal.)

Costco does have a pitfall.  You can go totally nuts (and broke) if you aren’t careful.  I really recommend shopping there with a LIST (and, oh, how I love lists) and NOT HUNGRY.

Also keep in mind the Costco Rule: “You can always take it back.” I have seen things there and decided to “think about it,” then come back later and they are gone.  You need a happy medium.

In summary: Must Have #1 is a Costco Membership.  Executive Membership (with 2% cash back) is $100 annually, basic membership is $50.  Too bad they don’t sell carpet.  Oh, wait… I think maybe they do…

P.S. I really recommend the Kirkland diapers over the Huggies… they work just as well, if not better (I have a boy, I can attest) and they cost less.

Since I’m on the prowl for a “big boy bed,” I thought my favorite baby/toddler furniture store deserved a mention.  USA Baby in Taylorsville is my recommended big-ticket item store… and let me tell you why:

• They carry the higher-end versions of the baby and toddler products you find at Babies R Us, Target, and Walmart (why is this good? because I can be a snob and I don’t like to skimp on certain things for my only child)
• They have CRAZY sales - they have “Trimester Sales” four times  (I think?) a year and also one-day sales where they open at 7am (again, from memory) on a Saturday and have screamin’ deals
• They have quality furniture and gear from the best manufacturers in the business
• Their customer service is excellent: employees are helpful and courteous and the one time I had to return something that we had broken accidently, they were amazing… they actually let me return it
• THE BEST REASON: They match competitors’ prices.  Yes, really!  Online competitors too.

So, bottomline: you can get the high-end version of whatever for the best price around.  At USA Baby.

To illustrate how much I love USA Baby, I bought not only my infant and convertible car seats there (two VERY important purchases to me), but also my crib, crib mattress, matching changing table, changing pad, stroller (matches the infant seat), and other random items (nightlight, Baby Bjorn, etc.).  I have given them so much of my money.  (Makes me start to wonder why I am giving them free advertising… hmmm… Oh, yeah! So you guys won’t spend too much getting the stuff YOU want either!)

I think I heard that their next one-day sale is in June… you can call and check for sure, though.  Check out their latest catalog on their web site too.

I need to head over there because I saw that they now carry the ChildSpace line of children’s furniture (along with baby furniture) and I’m in the market for a twin bed and dresser.  Maybe nightstand.  We’ll see.  I’m loving the myHaven collection.  SO cute.  I have no idea on the price range, but I will keep you posted.

Thanksgiving Point’s Farm Country
Location: Just north of Lehi, Utah - 30-40 minutes from downtown SLC
Cost: $3.50 for adults, $2.50 for children, Free for 2 and under - Additional “rides” are available for $2
What to bring: camera, picnic lunch, sunscreen, antibacterial wipes (maybe toddler harness)

Yesterday, the toot and I ventured to Thanksgiving Point and visited the Farm Country area they have there.  We had a great time!  The biggest draw is their outdoor “petting farm” — they have horses, cows, pigs, goats, llamas, rabbits, peacocks, and chickens in accessible pens for your kids to pet!  Not the ideal place for a germ-phobic, but perfect for curious toddlers!  The toot had a BLAST, especially with the goats.  He kept yelling, “Hi, goat! Hi, goat!” to each of them.

Right now, there are lots of baby animals (it’s the spring, right?) and they are SO adorable.  Baby goats, bunnies, and chicks… just sweet as can be. They also had some interactive indoor exhibits having to do with farming (we mostly skipped those) and a cute gift shop with farm-related toys.  Very, very cute stuffed animals, puzzles, etc. 

We didn’t take the camera (unfortunately) since I thought I would already have my hands full.  Sorry, no pics this time.  I was going to take our big stroller (Graco Quattro Tour - more about that another time), but wound up taking the umbrella stroller ($2 at a garage sale - most about that another time too).  Since we didn’t know what to expect as far as walking distance, toddler-friendly areas, etc., we didn’t wind up with the right gear when we needed it.  This experience is what spawned the idea for this blog.

To illustrate, this is what I brought:

• Umbrella stroller
• Insulated lunch box with snacks and drinks
• Sunscreen
• My purse
• Water
• Diaper bag (left in the car)

What I wish I had brought instead:

• Toddler harness (definitely more about THAT another time)
• Camera 
• Sunscreen
• Picnic lunch (left in the car until the end of the activities)
• My purse
• Diaper bag (left in the car) - but bring the antibacterial wipes!

If I had made these few changes, I not only would have some fun photos to share, but I also would have been less frazzled trying to balance all that stuff on my stroller, push the stroller, and trying to chase my running toddler at the same time.

No Stroller. Farm Country turned out to be great for 1-4 year-olds to walk around — no stroller needed.  The area isn’t very big and they aren’t likely to get lost.  It wasn’t even that crowded when we went.  I would have much rather held the toot’s hand, or, for a more rambunctious child, on a toddler harness.  (Not to say that the toot isn’t rambunctious, but that he’s getting older and better at holding hands and listening when Mom yells “STOP!!!!”)

Note: if you don’t feel comfortable having your child out of the stroller, what is the point?  I mean, really?  If they can’t walk and see and touch and EXPLORE, what is the point of going?  Also, your child will get a lot more tired if they are walking.  I have two goals for these kinds of outings: 1) have a good time and 2) get the toot as tired as possible.  He takes better naps, sleeps better at night, and is so much healthier for the exercise.

Camera.  I haven’t mentioned yet that admission to Farm Country ($3.50 for adults, $2.50 (I think for kids), and free for children 2 and under) also includes a choice of “ride.” There is a wagon ride available, or, for the braver kids, a pony ride.  It’s one of those things where they have the ponies set-up to walk in a circle.  Now, if you don’t think your child will be brave enough to get on a pony, then he does, and he loves it so much he cries when he gets off and you don’t have your camera to capture the whole thing… you are a sad person.  I was a sad person yesterday.  Bring your camera!  I almost always have it, but randomly didn’t want to bring it yesterday and I sorely regret it.

The ponies were cute, but my son with a HUGE grin riding one was priceless.  We are just going to have to go back.

Sunscreen.  Put sunscreen on your children everyday if they are going outside.  Reapply frequently.  Enough said.

Picnic lunch.  They have the Farm Country set-up in a square area outside and there is a section of grass in the middle (near the ponies) that is perfect for a picnic.  We wish we had brought a picnic and blanket and done that after seeing the animals, etc.  Also, there was no point in having snacks along, since everyone’s hands were filthy the majority of the time.

Antibacterial wipes.  This is God’s gift to germ-phobic mothers.  After all those animals, etc., you want to get your child’s hands clean before they decide to put them in your mouth.  I wish I had brought mine in the stroller (they were in the car).  Next time, I will grab a travel pack and stick it in my purse.

To their credit, Thanksgiving Point did have a hand washing station inside, right off of the animal area and a whole thing about the proper way to wash hands and how many germs animals had.  We washed our hands there, but I didn’t distribute any snacks until we were back at the car and the antibacterial wipes had gone around first.

We will definitely go back to Farm Country… I promised the toot another pony ride. 

I’ve decided to start this blog to share the adventures — and what useful information there may be — of being a mom to a toddler.  My plan is to post items of interest to parents of children 0-4.

Why 0-4?  These are the baby and toddler years… and that’s pretty much all I know about so far.  My son — whose name, for purposes of this blog and privacy concerns, will be The Toot — is two and a half years old.

I am a super-conscientious mom who is interested in all things toddler.  Some examples:

• Getting my child to eat nutritiously
• Toddler activities that are fun, educational… and exhausting (we NEED those good naps!)
• Finding cute, quality children’s clothing at a decent price
• The best children’s products: car seats, strollers, high chairs, booster seats, pack ‘n plays, etc., etc., etc. (Can you BELIEVE how much stuff there is available to BUY?  Do we need it?  How much should we really be paying for it?  Do we really want it?)
• Disciplining my child - what works and what doesn’t
• Being a mom and having a career… and making them work together without losing my sanity

If any of these topics sound helpful to you, bookmark this page and visit often.  I am all about sharing my opinion and hearing yours too!

First installment coming soon…